(Part 1 of 2) Pride comes before………

…….. that horrible moment when you realise that perhaps you had not been dealing with things as well as you had previously thought…

I think I may tell this tale in 2 or perhaps even 3 parts. Yes, I think it may be worth more than one blog post since it covers such diverse subject matter as an out of hours vet; bunny farts (or lack of them); an episode of Dinnerladies; that werthers originals are actually a rescue remedy in disguise and how a hug from an unexpected person can make all the difference. Definitely more than one blog post is worth.

All this, however does not make this an easy post to write. This story of falling off the wagon that was well on the road to ‘Coping Admirably’ and is now trudging along the muddy, pot-holed path that takes a detour to ‘Sobbing-over-the-least-little-thing’. It is a terrible thing to have to admit and clearly something that I have been putting off for the best part of this week, utilising every excuse in the book to avoid returning to this blog and instead immersing myself in dire tv, reading each page of a book five times or more in order to take in the words, talking to bunnies and sucking on werther’s originals (more on those later).

Of course I haven’t been in complete denial of the fact that this is a bit of a rollercoaster ride and I have certainly had my moments of feeling a little lost and tearful. But almost as soon as those tears have threatened to spill over, I have given myself a shake and got on with things. What else is there to do?

Sunday was a bit of an eventful day in that a couple of hours after my daily call to the hospital to relay progress of my wound drain I was in agony with it pinching on a nerve and had to make an unexpected trip to have it removed earlier than planned. The remainder of the day was spent fretting about our unwell pet rabbit Jeeves, before making a dash to the out-of-hours vet service and then fretting overnight as he remained there for treatment. So I guess Monday was where those first wee hints of emotional uncertainty became apparent. Then came the doubts about my own sanity and fear of becoming a bona fide hypochondriac. Oh, Great.

(Don’t worry! The amateur dramatics only become a little more heightened in the next post, before eventually dulling down to a return to ‘normality’!)

xxx

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About gillianleesmith

A lifetime fascination with storytelling, history, fairytales and folklore, has led me to create imagery based on the everyday whirling mind of a person who does not always wish to be rooted in the realistic present. Themes of times gone by and reminiscence are especially evident in my designs and my work often delves into the expression and characterisation of our human nature, which we may hide away and only ever glimpse at when prompted by a reflection of our inner selves. My character sculptures in particular are a nod towards my own imaginations, avid reading and childhood dreams. They are a way of seeking the perfect representation of our character. Each tells an original tale, with a single image that endeavors to embody a whole life story in an uncomplicated way. My most recent work begins to explore ‘dwelling places’, a place where we can truly be content and again the setting that truly represents our character and history. Each material used is carefully chosen to create layers of texture incorporating textiles, paper, paint, hand painted imagery and meticulously detailed hand embroidery. The combinations of varying media help me to create many layers and textures, which are evocative of the memories and history that is integral to my work. Graduating from Edinburgh College of Art in Performance Costume in 2005, I have since been working on my own creations as well as teaching workshops with community groups. More recently, I have been coordinating a project involving reminiscence work with older people. This has been a huge source of inspiration to my latest artwork and themes of memories, dreams and childhood.
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