So here I am with my rather mild interpretation of the tattooed lady look. Thank goodness it is only temporary! This is only half of the design with the ‘target’ shape being to the far right under my clothing. My appointment at the hospital was not as straightforward as I had hoped with my expectations of a quick signing of the form being rather optimistic. I was again poked and prodded to the point of nausea – Wilhamina is just not that sociable I am afraid – I will be so glad when I don’t have to put up with her uppity antics any longer. There also seemed to be some confusion about x-rays/scans (none of which I have had) and missing information which led to me waiting in the reception are for around 40 minutes wondering what the heck was going on! Not good for the nerves.

I guess one of the strange things about this, is that apart from my ‘companion’, I feel absolutely healthy. I am overweight but I feel as if I am in good health. It takes 25 minutes to walk to the hospital (it would take 20 if my legs were not so stumpy) and I love being outside striding along in the end-of-summer air. But I have this ‘thing’ which indicates (supposedly)  that I am sicker than I have ever been in my life. Bizarre! Any treatment that I have, to make me better will in fact have the potential to make me feel more ill than if I were to just carry on as normal. What a weird situation. But of course I know if left untreated it would all be a different story and I have to keep reminding myself of that. So tomorrow will be a new chapter – the first step on the road to recovery! That, in a strange, ironic way is very exciting.

At least with all the hospital appointments ahead of me, I have a good chance of losing some weight with all the walking!

PS. I really have to thank you all for the wonderful comments, messages and emails. Every time I write this blog I wonder what the heck I am doing, it is as challenging as it is cathartic and I do feel very exposed. I guess I write in a very ‘real to me way’ and it has surprised me that anyone would even be interested in the inner workings of my wittering mind, but really your thoughts mean a great deal. Cheers and see you on the other side of surgery! x



About gillianleesmith

A lifetime fascination with storytelling, history, fairytales and folklore, has led me to create imagery based on the everyday whirling mind of a person who does not always wish to be rooted in the realistic present. Themes of times gone by and reminiscence are especially evident in my designs and my work often delves into the expression and characterisation of our human nature, which we may hide away and only ever glimpse at when prompted by a reflection of our inner selves. My character sculptures in particular are a nod towards my own imaginations, avid reading and childhood dreams. They are a way of seeking the perfect representation of our character. Each tells an original tale, with a single image that endeavors to embody a whole life story in an uncomplicated way. My most recent work begins to explore ‘dwelling places’, a place where we can truly be content and again the setting that truly represents our character and history. Each material used is carefully chosen to create layers of texture incorporating textiles, paper, paint, hand painted imagery and meticulously detailed hand embroidery. The combinations of varying media help me to create many layers and textures, which are evocative of the memories and history that is integral to my work. Graduating from Edinburgh College of Art in Performance Costume in 2005, I have since been working on my own creations as well as teaching workshops with community groups. More recently, I have been coordinating a project involving reminiscence work with older people. This has been a huge source of inspiration to my latest artwork and themes of memories, dreams and childhood.
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3 Responses to Marked……

  1. Carol says:

    Loads of love Gillian. x

  2. sue says:

    hope surgery went well, thinking of you, let us know when you’re ready for some company xx

  3. Anna Stassen says:

    I am so sorry to hear about all this 😦 I am thinking of you and sending you all the love and positive vibes I can.

    Anna xx

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