So now it is Friday – just over one week since my diagnosis and I have to admit that I feel more tired than ever. Yesterday we attended my appointment with the breast care nurse. I did not really know what to expect from this appointment but it turned out to be really going over all the information from last week. A few more details and a chance to ask questions and make sure I understand everything that has been said so far but no new information really.
I say how exhausted I am feeling, I am told this is entirely normal. The pain from the biopsy area is quite bad at times and in strange places, getting worse day by day instead of better – this too is ‘normal’. My euphoric and positive state of mind in the first few days and my occassional present grumpiness and ongong lack of tears – yep, all completely normal. I want to press for definitive information, to have more knowledge about my diagnosis and biology but none of that will be available until my pathology reports three weeks after my surgery. Nothing is definite and everything is open to change – at least that is my interpretation.
I have the choice of a mastectomy or lumpectomy and I have decided upon the latter. I joke about not making a molehill out of a mountain (me and my lame jokes…) but really do not feel there is the need at this time for a mastectomy. With a lumpectomy it seems there is the chance that later depending on the pathology results there may have to be more surgery to remove more tissue but at the moment I am fine with that decision. Gosh there is so much to think about! I will stay in hospital overnight due to a past medical condition but will be able to go home the next day to recuperate for around 2 weeks with exercises. No lifting, no hoovering, no ironing – yaay! Yep there are benefits indeed! I am just hoping I can sew for a short while every day so that I do not get too behind on all the work I have to do for upcoming exhibitions and events.
It is looking very probable that I will be having chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but as yet nothing is set in stone. I wish I knew – it feels like it will be a very different experience depending on the treatment I need – I am in limbo. Five weeks till I find out. We go over more details about the surgery and recovery time and I have the date for receiving my results. We also discuss the wedding date.
We have a decision to make – a real toughie – I will write more tomorrow. x